Book Blogger Challenge 1/15

Make 15 book-related confessions

1.  I abandon books I'm not enjoying, then read the plot synopsis on Wikipedia.  When I have conversations about the book, I don't tell the other person if this is what I did and speak as if I finished the book.

2.  I don't like several must-love classics like To Kill A Mockingbird and Catcher in the Rye.

3.  My favorite books happen to be short like Dr. Jekyll and slaughtermatic

4.  I am not open to the idea that modern fiction is as good as classic fiction.

5.  I don't like Dr Seuss.  I do not like him, Sam-I-Am.

6.  I can't tell one fantasy and/or science fiction book from another.  They'll all the same auto-ego-masturbation to me.

7.  I throw out books.  That is tantamount to evil for some people, but I see nothing wrong with it.

8.  I download my comics.  My rate of purchase to download is around 1:25.

9.  When people ask me for honest feedback, I do not give it.  I stay positive.

10.  I think full bookshelves are a sign of someone with an insecurity of their intelligence.

11.  I don't think there's a reason to own more than one bookshelf cabinet.

12.  I think everyone should write a book, even if they can't write well.

13.  I buy books at Goodwill, sign them as the author, then re-donate them.

14.  When I write a book, I'll bury and sly insult in it about someone I know.  Then I know if they actually read the book.

15.  I hate e-readers SO FAR.  I will abandon books when I find one I like.

State of the Estate

Been dieting for three months now and my weekly grocery lists have settled into a pattern.


To eat:
Frozen cooked diced boneless skinless grilled chicken breast
Tuna pouches (no more than 3/week)
Salmon filet
10 calorie sugar free Jello cups

To drink:
(2) 1.5 liter bottles of water (which I just refill for a week, then toss)
Coffee grounds
Quart of skim milk (for coffee)
Protein powder
Meal replacement shakes

270 to 220 in 90 days.  Eat between 600 and 1200 calories a day.  P90X workouts each day.



Enough of that talk.  November looms.  Novel Writing November.  But first, I'm going to do a character creating challenge in October.  A new character every day in October.  And this is where I'll post them.  Probably.  There's a site dedicated to this so it might have me post them there, but I might not bother with it.

Got to use the word 'looms' so it was a good day.

2013 and 2014 Resolutions

2013 Resolutions

22. Take five interesting self-pictures (FAILED, took 3)

44. Get to reddit front page with a photo (Hunter's first hair cut to r/parenting)

21. Use sunscreen every day (FAILED, 2 days only)

37. Join the Masons/Lodge (Joined Eagles)

45. Go to driving range (125 yards)

41. Graffiti (Transmet smiley and “I hate it here” on DMV bathroom wall)

14. Try Ethiopian food (Nile Ethiopian)

32. Moisturize (didn't see a difference)

27. Read two books (FAILED, distracted with Phil's wedding)

29. Eat dark chocolate (still don't like dark chocolate)

11. Make a new enemy (flame war with Jessica Suarez, friend of a friend, over religion)

18. Work out my left shoulder every day (not bad)

40. Write two songs (Sinsational and “Did You Think That Was It?” )

23. Stretch every morning (quit after 1 day. Not a good idea with my shoulder)

47. Write a letter to a politician (to Marco Rubio to end the Cuban embargo)

38. Own a print of "Son of Man" (owned)

34. Shave every day (FAILED 6/7)

2. Take Hunter to Gymboree every day I have him (FAILED, Kiri stayed home and took him once)

25. Take a class (FAILED)

20. Connect with my neighbors (emailing connection)

46. Make fire without matches (FAILED, done)

26. Read to Hunter every day (FAILED on 3^rd day)

39. Go fishing (FAILED)

15. Eat raw (quit, seemed worse once I looked it up)

28. Drink red wine everyday (yum)

43. Meet someone named Adam Simon (musician from Illinois)

49. Shooting range with target picture (FAILED)

9. Replace the overhang vents (done)

19. Go on a solo overnight vacation (changed to day-cation, I like my bed)

13. Eat fruits and veggies twice a day (mostly apples)

3. Live off of $20 (FAILED)

31. Get a massage (Whole Foods)

17. Iron the curtains (humidity did it)

48. Go to dog track/horse races (Sanford-Orlando Kennel Club)

12. Take a singing lesson (Done)

16. Try a restaurant that I normally wouldn't (Nile Ethiopian)

10. Don't eat fast food (easier than I thought, missed playplaces)

8. Fix the screen on the porch

42. Get rid of one garbage bag of clutter (Good)

30. Sex every day (FAILED 3/7)

36. Take a vow of silence (7/15)

35. Throw a surprise party (Meg's bday)

33. Cook pork belly (3 days curing, 7 hours cooking)

24. Carry a water bottle (easy)

50. Read American Psycho and Frankenstein (done)

7. Eat all 10 Mayo Clinc super foods (done)

4. Eat gluten free (quit)

6. Get up early and walk around the block every morning (FAILED 0/7)

5. Eat vegetarian (FAILED 3/7)

51. Drink the most expensive vintage wine at Wine Room (Joseph Phelps “Insignia” 2009, $20/oz, was ok)

1. Do the dishes every day (fun)

52. Confess everything (confessed to friend, church wouldn't take me)

8. Fix the screen on the porch

2014 Resolutions

Cook the perfect hamburger

Brazilian/Argentian Restaurant

Chinese Restaurant

Hot Dog Restaurant

Sushi Restaurant

Korean Restaurant

Non-chain Pizza Restauarant

Thai Restauarant

Polish Restauarant

Meet a New Person

Play a New Game with People

Vote in Something

Create Z-Day Kit

Z-Day Drill

Listen to a record player

Sleep in car

Brew alcohol

Clean out back yard

Attend an Oktoberfest

Tequila on Cinco De Mayo

That XMas Brew!

Raise money for a charity

Get under 200 pounds

Eat oysters until stuffed

Eat ghost pepper

Get window plant

Do scavenger hunt

Burn an offering

Go Karts

Road Trip

Paintball

Talk to an expert in Latin

Paint ceiling

Paint bar

Level all wall hangings

Use infrared fryer

Service scuba tanks

Go to Enzian

Camp

Have a plant

Make a pinata

Draw funny faces on eggs

Go to Harry Potter World

Go to Epcot Food and Wine

Drink around the world at Epcot

Volunteer with Habitat for Humanity

A challenge to end a story with "...and then the world exploded!"

God said, “Boo.”

Naturally, it was very startling. First the world had to come to grips with the undeniable fact that there actually was a god. Then came the realization that he was something of a twat. Everyone heard that first “boo” and every bit of the taunting that came later. It didn't matter your location or elevation or language. Even the deaf heard Him. That was another thing. God was a him. The voice was masculine, but not very, like a preteen boy. This came as an embarrassment to people who had always imagined themselves to be edgy and progressive by referring to God with feminine pronouns. Whereas those progressive attention seekers just mumbled and switched pronouns, the atheists were overcome with fear. Well, most people were, but the atheists really went overboard with it. The churches were full every hour of the day. Crosses and rosary beads became popular everydayware, but so did other religious symbols like Stars of David or Muslim crescents. God never specified initially which religion was correct. He just said, “Boo” and let people panic. As previously stated, something of a twat move.

A few years went by which, if biblical scholarly types were to be believed, was not supposed to be that long for God. Some of the fear subsided, but really, no one could outrightly dismiss the terror and feeling of insignificance. Life never returned to anything resembling normal. There was no point to commerce or dating. Everyone was too scared for that. It was all “here, have it for free because I'm so good and should go to heaven” and “let's get married before we even kiss each other because we don't want to piss off the Almighty.”

When the earthquakes began, everyone blamed everyone else for upsetting the Lord Above. “He's punishing us because you touched yourself” or “This is because you had impure thoughts”. Lots of people died. They weren't normal earthquakes. They were earth (space) quakes. Quakes of the earth. The entire planet, every location had quakes at the same time, like God was batting the planet around like a kitten with trapped lizard. The destruction was awful and the accounts of the dead filled the airwaves. And the entire human race reacted out of fear and declared a War on God.

In the wake of the destruction, the human race united against a common enemy, though with no idea of how to fight their deity, a being of limitless power and omniscience. The Earth has united its armies and its greatest minds and had begun preparations to attack God as if he was some corporeal enemy, when an enthusiastic voice boomed from the heavens with joy in His voice.

“Ready?”

The armies scattered and the entire human race did its best to hide from the Almighty, taking to bunkers and staying indoors. In the coming years, children were raised to sleeping during the day and only go out at night for fear that God might see them. Stories were passed back and forth about God. Some were rehashing of religious tales and some were new creations based on the Lord since he made himself known. These were added to the existing tales of miracles and creation. For centuries, each culture had its own legends and superstitions of the creation of the planet and the universe. None of them, it turned out, were right. One day, God explained the creation of life, the universe, and everything. But not to the human race. It was very technical and contained many terms that human ears had never heard before. As God was not speaking to the human race, they only caught pieces of His explanation, but everyone was sure of how it started.

“For my science project, I made a model of the universe out of atoms.”

Through God's speech, which lasted for years in the time of the Earth, the suicide rate skyrocketed. When he explained the human race in terms of genetics and molecules, as if no essence of the human soul existed, society crumbled and neighbor turned on neighbor. There was no heaven or hell and God did not care for us. He wasn't even that good of a speaker. The universe must have been a disappointment, because he was upset with his grade on the project.

Centuries passed and society rebuilt itself as the certainty of God's existence and the existence of the universe turned to legend. Man and woman returned to normal over hundreds and hundreds of years. Children played, the world got along, and it was a golden age of science and literacy. God only spoke two more words to the universe. Scientists had started to panic about a gigantic dark mass between the constellations of Centaurus and Vela near the edge of the observable universe.

“Stupid project,” came His booming voice, filled with the bitterness and spite of a betrayed boy.

The entire universe recoiled in horror. Many died from fright alone and mothers held their children so tight they hurt them. The sound that filled the universe, that last sound in the universe, was a fuse burning, the distinctive “sssssss” of a firecracker. It lasted for years, but the terror never stopped. The entire universe was tortured by His final fit. It was a death sentence that could happen at anytime, any moment. For over twenty years, there was only fear.

… and then the Earth exploded!