Maui

We're moving to Maui.  Two Orlando-loving semi-adults and a Disney kid. (probably, it's not locked in yet, for five ish years)

So Hunter grows up to age 5 in Disney World and to age 10 in Hawaii.  Spoiled brat.

Maui has one comic book store, the main place to purchase things is a Costco, but we'll be an hour away from even that level of urbanization.  We're going to be on the resort side of things.  We visit in two weeks, but I'm imagining International Drive with a beachfront.  And I hate the beach.

Now I really, really want to move there.  I do.  But I really, really, really like being negative as well.  It makes you seem prophetic when the inevitable doom starts rolling in.

I've been researching like hell all the great things about Maui and Hawaiian life from Pidgin to poke.  But I wanted to make a list of all the things I'll miss about Orlando while I'm on a tiny island in the Pacific, 3000 miles from anything else.  See, this way, if it all falls through, I can look at this list as all the reasons I should be happy we're staying.

1. The lack of beach
2. Comic book stores
3. Something to do after 8pm
4. Readily available supplies for any adventure
5. Driving for a really long time
6. Pokemon Go
7. The ability to make an ass of myself and never see the same people again
8. The buffet of culture - not delicious, but there's something of every kind
9. A choice in medical and psychiatric care
10. My friends.  HA!  No, fuck those bastards.
11. Karaoke every night of the week
12. Corona Cigar Company
13. Orange Blossom Pilsner
14. Bars with passwords behind bookshelves
15. Pub crawling
16. Dungeons and Dragons
17. Wah Lum Kung Fu Temple
18. Good schools
19. Lazy Moon pizza
20. Tijuana Flats
21. Jeremiah's Italian Ice
22. Churrascarias - where the Brazilians feed you meat on swords
23. Mall graveyards
24. Disney World, Universal Studios, Legoland, just all the tourist attractions
25. Teaching motorcycle riding
26. Semi-monthly visits with Mom
27. Christmas dinner with In-laws (they're delightful)
28. Oh god... Publix.  Subs, wings, cleanliness
29. The Ravenous Pig
30. The Meathouse
31. Easy-to-score freelance writing gigs
32. Variety on GroupOn

I thought there'd be more but a large chunk of my loves of Orlando were eliminated as they are probably available on Maui (Asian food, local art) or they were examples of things I just like to hate (Full Sail, bad drivers) or both (tourists, heat).

Here's things I'm looking forward to in Maui.

1. Island time
2. Tourists
3. Heat
4. A focused epicenter of culture
5. New foods and new ways of eating
6. New friends that don't know I'm a horrible person.  Yet.
7. Halloween is apparently a big deal
8. Goat farm - milk and cheese
9. Living with less
10. More time with Kiri
11. International vacations - it'd cost half as much as coming back to Orlando than going to Japan or Australia

I'd like to unsubscribe from the postal service

One of my favorite Seinfeld bits is when Kramer tries to cancel his mail service.  I so wish it was possible.  The best you can do is hold your mail for 30 days over and over, getting one delivery a month.  Kiri isn't interested in that.  I've managed to reduce my junk mail to Cycle Gear and a couple Occupant flyers.  This year I've kept track of what I've gotten delivered to the house, FedEx/UPS/etc included.  Just to get an idea.

January
Club: Spice of the month club, Cigar of the month club
Government: Registration reminder
Amazon: Garage door opener x 2, air filter, electric switch, trash can

February
Club: Spice of the month club, Cigar of the month club
Government:  Registration, Absentee ballot
Amazon: Garage door opener, floor mat

March
Club: Spice of the month club, Cigar of the month club

Amazon: Pants, Chromebook, sunglasses, car jack, light switch, nail clipper

Disney: Annual pass

Harry's: Razor blades

Doctor: Refund check

Credit cards: New credit card, renewed credit card, cash advance check

April

Club: Spice of the month club, Cigar of the month club

Amazon: Outlet cover, insulation, Kiri's birthday presents

Credit cards: Gift cards x 4, renewed credit card

Health insurance: New card

Motorcycle Safety Foundation: Curriculum update

Aluminium company: Bill

A bit on P2P

In the beginning there was Napster.  And it was good.

So originally peer to peer networks were little more than a LAN with a search function.  Look into everyone's shared folders and download from them.  Then we got Napster which let us hook up with people around the world and download pieces of the same file from multiple people so it was faster.  Napster kept a database of who had what files.  That centralized architecture led to them being a target by copyright holders.  Eventually file sharing evolved to torrents.  Something like the Pirate Bay doesn't hold the list of who owns what.  Now they hold torrent files which by themselves are nothing.  When put into a torrent client program, the torrents seek out the file associated with the torrent across all torrent clients.  Before torrents, you had to decide if you were searching the Napster network or the Limewire network or whatever.  With torrents, all networks are searched at once, resulting in better connections from more people and faster downloads.

The actual process is like when Mike Teevee goes across the room in Willy Wonka, but with multiple copies of Mike Teevee being sampled and reassembled by the client program.

The copyright part of all this is that most of the content "shared" doesn't belong to the person sharing and is being shared without permission.  In the early days, there was a real push that it was a legitimate platform for new artists.  People would tag their original music with "(like Limp Bizkit)" or "(If you like Weird Al you'll like this)".  I would search for "comedy" and get weird songs that never became well known but were hilarious.  As connection speeds increased though, more movies and albums were shared and the well-intentioned movement was overshadowed by the copyright violators.

Something to remember is that it can take hours to convert a stolen movie to a sharable format and there is no compensation model in the effort.  It's always been really weird to think that people are out there are putting all this effort for... a good feeling.  It's a feeling of rebellion, or a feeling of community, or a feeling of prestige inside the community for being known for quality or rarity, or a feeling that all information should be free and without copyright as a political statement.

People downloading files are often caught.  I don't know much about what happens after that.  It is possible to see the IP addresses of people copying a file from you so copyright holders will download a popular torrent they want to scare people away from then watch the IP addresses.  They send a stern letter to the internet provider of that IP address.  Usually the internet provider tells them to piss off, but sends a stern letter to the user.  This, I assume, is to show some sort of compliance with the copyright holders, but more to dissuade the user from file sharing in general which can clog data lines with large file transfers.

Fun fact: In 2000, I saw that Madonna's "Music" music video was going to have a world premiere on MTV.  I wrote a paper on p2p and part of it was timing how long it took from it's airing on MTV to being available to download on Napster (back when there was less than 1 GB in the whole network).  I think it was 28 minutes.

Fun fact:  File sharers love the Oscars.  All those Blu-ray copies sent out to so many Academy judges.  Some of the movies have just come out in theaters.  Someone along the chain of custody of every single movie will put it online and then we get a great copy of a new movie with the added bonus of a subtitle saying something like "Property of Disney - For Academy Consideration Only"

Fun fact:  My all time favorite file is the "workprint" for X-Men Origins: Wolverine that had the full movie with only half the effects finished.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5AsOEk-ZJU

HA!

"What's the issue dear?  Why are you holding back from such a man?"

Is it the quickstep way he walks?
Or the acrid way he talks?
Or the scary, hairy weirdness of his feet?
And though we know he's meaning well, he
Always ends up talking cruelly
But you'll never meet a fella who's as fun, loyal, and neat

So he's a bit of a fixer upper
So he's got a few quirks
His peculiar brain, girl, his weird lack of anger
Though he stills comes off a jerk

So he's a bit of a fixer upper, but this we're certain of
You can fix this fixer upper with a little bit of love

Is it the way his arm's impaired?
Or that he walks around bare?
Or that he can't sit still throughout a show?
Are you holding back your fondness
Due to his tailor-hated brawnness?
Or the way he covers up you set his face aglow?

He's just a bit of a fixer upper
He's got a few bugs
His isolation is confirmation
Of his desperation for healing hugs

So he's a big of a fixer upper
But we know what to do
The way to fix this fixer upper
Is to fix him up with you

"Enough!  She's still in high school!"

So she's a bit of a grower upper
That's a minor dent
This quote age problem isn't so solemn
And she's still in the age of consent

So she's a bit of a grower upper
Her age's a bit betwixt
Get her to bend on the weekend
And the whole thing will be fixed!

Stuff Check: 100 Thing Challenge

Clothes

* Black: Suit, Helmet, Jacket, Gloves, Dress Shirt
* Blue: T-Shirt, A-Shirt, Shorts x 2, Dress Shirt x 5
* Other: Red Dress Shirt, Brown Pants, Gray Pants x 3

Bedroom

* TV, Roku, Keepsake Box, Laundry Basket, Son of Man Poster
* Bed (Pool Noodles, Medicine Box, Documents, Hard Drive, Hair Clippers, Chromebook 11, Thumb Drive, Kindle, Backpack)


Kitchen

* Drinks: Tea, Soda Stream, Bourbon Slush, Water
* Seasoning: Creole Spice, Hot Sauce, Honey, Splenda, Salt
* Tools: Flatware Set, Travel Mug, Ice Cube Tray, Dehydrator
* Food: Soup, Jerky, Chicken, Rib Steaks x 2, Ground Sirloin x 2, London Broil, Carrots, Egg Whites

Other

* House
* Playroom: Exercise Bike
* Garage: Motorcycle, Tools
* In Wife's Car: Socks, Plimsolls
* Ballroom: Joker Statue, Joker Toy, Humidor
* Carrying: Sandals, Sunglasses, Wedding Ring, iPhone in Wallet Case
* Living Room: Maltese Falcon Poster, Fear and Loathing Poster, XBox One, Chromebook 14
* Bathroom: Wipes, Towel, Shampoo, Razor, Gel, Lotion, Toilet Brush, Plunger, Toothpaste, Toothbrush

1. TV
2. Roku
3. Laundry Basket
4. Son of Man Poster
5. Bed
6. Hard Drive
7. Hair Clippers
8. Chromebook 11
9. Thumb Drive
10. Kindle
11. Backpack
12. Tea
13. Bourbon Slush
14. Water
15. Creole Spice
16. Hot Sauce
17. Honey
18. Splenda
19. Salt
20. Travel Mug
21. Ice Cube Tray
22. Soup
23. Jerky
24. Chicken
25. London Broil
26. Carrots
27. Egg Whites
28. Exercise Bike
29. Socks
30. Plimsolls
31. Joker Statue
32. Joker Toy
33. Sandals
34. Sunglasses
35. Wedding Ring
36. Maltese Falcon Poster
37. Fear and Loathing Poster
38. Chromebook 14
39. Wipes
40. Towel
41. Shampoo
42. Razor
43. Gel
44. Lotion
45. Toilet Brush
46. Plunger
47. Toothpaste
48. Toothbrush

Stuff that could count as one or many things:

49. House

50-51. Rib Steaks x 2

52-53. Ground Sirloin x 2

54-57. Suit (Jacket, Pants, Shirt, Tie)

58-60. Motorcycle Gear (Helmet, Jacket, Gloves)

61-62. Shirts x 2

63-64. Shorts x 2

65-71. Dress Shirt x 7 

72-75. Pants x 4

76-79. Flatware Set

80-81. Motorcycle (with saddle bags that are not currently on it)

82-85. iPhone (Wallet Case with driver's license and credit card)

86-88. Soda Stream (with two extra bottles)

89-91. XBox One (with extra controller and charger)

92+. Medicine Box

93+. Document Box

94+. Keepsake Box

95+. Humidor (with 2 keys, cutter, lighter, humidifier and many cigars)

96+. Tools (many, many tools)

Well I could learn to cook vegetarian

Or take fashion workshop

Meditate, calculate

Learn to knit a tank top

Yoga, hula

Clogging, jogging

Walking on a tight rope

Take a correspondence course

And learn to make my own soap

Jumping on a pogo stick

Standing in a wheat field

Going on a snipe hunt

Gonna keeps my eyes peeled

Take a little time to really decorate my door

And change my hair to black and then I'll dye it back orange

Underwater taxidermy

Shopping for a suitcase

Peeling tangerines while placing second in a sack race

Lion taming, online gaming

Try'n to win a prize fight

Appear in a talk show

Dress-up like a water sprite

People go to classes to learn how to fold these swans and this is what you do with them?!

List of good bars

Another list into the void

Wally's - where alcoholics drink.  $5 fills a Big Gulp with anything you want and the only entertainment is the other drunks.

Claddagh Cottage - it would feel like Ireland except it keeps reminding me it's an Irish bar.  Beer/wine, but good beer and nibbles.

Piper's - used to be a ghetto Chuck E Cheese.  Most interesting thing about it.

Hanson's Shoe Repair - probably my favorite.  Go on an off-night.  All drinks cost $12 but are really cool.  Dress code and secret location.

The Pharmacy - really really hidden, pricey, fun, mostly a restaurant

The Cloak and Blaster - beer/wine, crappy food, video games, tabletop games, geek central

The Geek Easy - the inspiration for the Cloak, keeps changing it's focus, hidden in the back of A Comic Shop.

Don Julio's - great margaritas, restaurant

Gators - bit racist, good nibbles

Big Daddy's - smokey, karaoke every night

Stardust Lounge - used to be more tightly themed "hep cat" but still good

Aku Aku - above Stardust, true tiki bar, plays "Endless Summer" sometimes on mute

Wall St Plaza - the Mall of Bars, owned by one company, lots of differently styled bars

The Lodge - go straight to the back and up the stairs to your own bar and people watch from the balcony

Finn Henry's - an Irish pub for downtown, serve pudding shots (which are better than Jello shots)

Lizzy McCormick's - an Irish pub for downtown, does not serve pudding shots

Harp and Celt - the downtown Irish pub that's not for downtown, less noisy crowd

Milk District - a string of bars including Sportstown (the smokiest bar with the biggest beer variety and entertainment variety), the Bull and Bush (?) (a British pub for serious dart throwers)

The Smiling Bison - a gastropub for people with handlebar mustaches and refined palettes

Redlight, Redlight - a beer bar for people with handlebar mustaches and unrefined palettes

Will's Pub - if it's all white, it's all right

BART - Beer, art for sale, arcade of classic games, but a bit cramped

Tanqueray's - a bit smoky basement with the best live music and a good layout if you want to watch the music or just hear the music

Stigma - so much fun, but so empty, smokeless because it's a tattoo/piercing parlor too, with dungeon props to play with and stripper poles

The final rundown before bed

1. Facebook
2. Texts
3. Photos
4. Email
5. Calendar
6. Air Conditioner
7. Shopping List
8. To Do List
9. Bank Account
10. Health Insurance
11. Amazon
12. Weather
13. Netflix
14. YouTube
15. Locks
16. Check My Goals
17. Update My List Of Possessions
18. Facebook
19. Kindle
20. Facebook
21. Brush Teeth
22. Take Pills