Pepsi Throwback and Strawberried Peanut Butter M&Ms

There.  That's better.  Myspace is just so clumsy.  Anyway. 

Pepsi Throwback = Good
Strawberried Peanut Butter M&Ms = Bad






Pepsi Throwback is liquid Nirvana.  It doesn't taste like Pepsi, but with sugar instead of high-fructose corn syrup.  No instead its magical wonder must be tried for itself, no words can describe it.  It's like the Matrix.  No one can be told what the Throwback is.



Nebraska must burn.



On the other hand Strawberried Peanut Butter M&Ms can be described with words.  Words like "ass" and "shit" and "assshit" and "shitass."  When I saw it I thought I was getting myself into something akin to Goober:


Even John Pinette would say nay nay to these "candies"



First of all, it is not, as I thought, a peanut butter and strawberry jelly flavor.  I even had hopes that perhaps some of the M&Ms were regular peanut butter with experimental strawberry or strawberry-chocolate candies mixed in.  Oh no.  You should read the package carefully, for it tells the truth.  "Strawberried Peanut Butter"  You taste one and go "What the hell is this?  This is disgusting."

Then the junk food analysis begins once the initial shock wears off and you start to reason it.  It doesn't taste like peanut butter or strawberry.  What does it taste like?  Someone, in a fit of sleep apnea, dreamt up a wild product: Strawberry-Flavored Peanut Butter!  This person thought it was genius, but alas, they worked at Mars candy company, not Smucker's.  "I shall make a candy to taste like my imaginary product!" he yells to no one in particular, disturbing the migrant Mexican workers with hairnets on their moustaches.

That's what it tastes like.  Like if strawberry-flavored peanut butter was real and someone made a candy with the licensing rights to it.