Levi's in Africa script treatment

Levi Rucker stands still in the jungle. Before him is a mutated leopard, eating his guide. Just before turning on him, Levi is spared by hunters. Levi explain in his first of many travel tips that iBandla lamaNazaretha are a religion whose leaders wear leopard skins as neckware despite their protected status. The poachers spare him and Levi catches up with his photographer on the way to the Swaziland border, where Levi cuts to the front of the line and presents a letter from their government allowing him passage to showcase their sights. Levi and his photographer are given conditional grants. They may enter, but must leave together. A precaution to avoid citizens escaping the country. That night, the photographer disappears from his room.

Levi continues without him, exploring Swaziland and getting a new photographer in a drug baron named Lindiwe Dyuba who keeps pushing to return to the border. Lindiwe wants to escape Swaziland and his life of crime. He assures Levi he can make himself look like his former photographer.

Outside a casino, Levi is attacked and Lindiwe saves him. The two celebrate with alcohol, drugs, and sex. At the last possible moment, Levi discovers that Lindiwe is a she in disguise.

The next morning Lindiwe explains her name is Tintswalo Mavimbela and he created the Lindiwe character because woman have no rights in Swaziland are often raped. Levi suddenly realizes that he may have contracted AIDS and Tintswalo urges him to return to the border with her. Levi reveals that his tourism article is a false front as he investigates reports of chemical weapons testing. He hopes the reports are true so that it will launch him to fame. Tintswalo argues but ultimately agrees to their original deal. She will be his photographer and he will escort her out of Swaziland.

The two explore their relationship while on a road trip through the worst country on Earth, stopping at one point for Tintswalo to sell drugs to a warlord. Ultimately, Levi must infiltrate the chemical weapons facility alone as Tintswalo reveals she is on the building's watch list for treason.

Inside, Levi meets Geils, a scientist responsible for an invention that induces madness and the application of it towards the Mambo, political opponents of the king turned into bloodthirsty zombie-like savages who are terrorizing Swaziland. Geils, mad himself, sees Levi as a kindred soul and invites him to join in the fun. He reveals his intention to poison a large lake that feeds to severel countries with the poison, turning the populace into Mambo, convinced that in madness is truth.

Levi steals a gun and shoots a propane tank, gaining him escape. Reuniting with Tintswalo, the two head towards the border before Levi has a change of heart. If he escapes, the lake will be poisoned and all those people will die. He decides to act. Tintswalo leaves him to walk back to town. Levi stops and has a beer, trying to come up with a plan. Tintswalo returns to him, only to be overrun by Mambo. Using a trick from the facility, the two escape death and Tintswalo, having seen the horrors of the Mambo, agrees to try to stop Geils.

As the lake is large, the two split up to ask the people in town if they have seen Geils. Levi discovers Tintswalo's car at an empty convenience store. He sees her being raped behind the store and returns to the car, grabbing one of her guns and emptying it into the man. He takes her back into town to recover at a motel and does the only thing he knows how to do: gets her high. Levi decides the Swazis are not worth saving and wants to drive to the border, but Tintswalo says these things happen to her because of the evils she's done. She needs to right this wrong.

The two pass a village made of shipping containers and their car breaks down before it reaches the lake. They take guns and ammo and hike towards the lake, only to find they are too late. Geils has poisoned the lake already. Military helicopters fly down and a battle between Geils' mercenaries and the Swaziland military begins. Tintswalo takes on the worst of the soldiers and is recognized by Geils. Levi loses a leg in an explosion. When the dust clears, the king and a few of his men kill all survivors except Geils, Levi, and Tintswalo. The king kicks Tintswalo in the head, knocking her unconscious, and toys with Levi as his men stomp on Geils and shoot him dead. As the king toys with Levi, another burst of fire is heard. Tintswalo stands with a machine pistol, having killed the soldiers from behind. Before anyone can speak, she empties the gun into the king.

The two suffer from mosquitos as they hobble back down the road, trying to keep Levi from dying. They rest at the broken car a moment before moving on to the shipping container village, only to find it now populated by Mambo.

Captured by the Mambo, Levi's bite-sized parts and organs are removed and eaten. In a futile, one legged leap of anger towards the creatures, he lands on their dinner table and they begin to feast on him. Again, Tintswalo uses his suffering as a distraction to reach a gun and save him. Levi demands in collecting up all his severed parts and taking them with him. "These are mine..."

Carrying Levi in a wheelbarrow, Tintswalo walks towards the bordertown only to find that South Africa, on the other side of the border, is swarming with Mambo, much to the amusement of the Swazis who watch through the fences with guns. A kind Swazi allows them to use his storeroom to rest. Tintswalo later returns to Levi, disguised as his former photographer. She is carrying the kind man's clothes in one hand and a bloody knife she seems not to notice in her other. She changes Levi into the clothes and puts him in the wheelbarrow, practicing her fake name and story about tourism. The Mambo have passed for now. As they go through the border, Levi sees wanted posters in the guard's hut. He sees Tintswalo as Lindiwe Dyuba on one and another for Sikelela Mavimbela which also looks like Tintswalo.

As she wheels Levi through South Africa, Tintswalo explains how horrible her life was in Swaziland and what she had to do to survive, revealing herself to be completely insane, possessed of multiple personalities, and one of the chemists who worked with Geils to develop the Mambo. Levi says nothing as he fears losing his ride and still finds Tintswalo attractive.


Once in a proper city, Levi's influence takes over in a whirlwind. He is hospitalized and treated for immediate injuries in all the luxury South Africa can provide. He arranges for Tintswalo to come to America as an informant through his government connections and his editor. They travel first-class, land in New York, and a car is waiting to take them to Levi's trendy loft. Levi warns Tintswalo not to go outside, gives her several hundred dollars, and points out the bathroom and the takeout menus before abandoning Tintswalo in the foreign environment, completely out of water. He retreats to a surgery unit and spa, in which his is constantly interrupted by her calls on matters such as the woman who broke into his home (the maid). While at the spa, a US government agent visits to request a debriefing of his activities. Levi tells him to read about it on newsstands and smiles, drinking a green juice. Checking out, Levi collects the messages from Tintswalo and throws them in the trash and he talks on his phone about "getting that one shrink to put my girlfriend on a shit-ton of lithium to make her real docile and sweet." Levi limps to the curb and hails a cab. He gets inside and directs the cabbie to go to Silvana's. When the driver replies, Levi sees that he is a sub-saharan African. He smiles and thinks. "You ever been to Silvana's?" Levi asks. "Not on my wages." Levi smiles.

Day 4 of being vegan


Breakfast: Skipped
Lunch: Skipped
Dinner: Beans and sweet potato and wine

Am I forgetting the drugs?  I'm taking a LOT of drugs.


Day 3 of veganism

Breakfast: Skipped
Lunch: Beans and watermelon (almost licked cheese off my hand after a gush from Hunter's grilled cheese but didn't)
Dinner: Skipped

So one day of being vegan, but it was practically a fast.

Day 2 of being vegan

Go Vegan For A Week was on my 2015 bucket list.

Day One
Breakfast: Skipped
Lunch: 3/4ths of 10" vegan pizza that turned out to have cheese in the sauce and unsweet tea
Dinner: 1/4th of 10" not-quite-vegan pizza, glass of red wine

Day Two
Breakfast: Skipped
Lunch: Large french fries and unsweet tea but Hunter spilled some ice cream, I caught it, I had no napkin, I ate it
Dinner:  Bean soup and two glasses of wine but while feeding Hunter a pizza roll, got some cheese on me and ate it

I'm taking this vegan for a week and meatless Lent as a chance to renew my dedication to my "Year of Denial".  Here is the current list of NOs.



  1. No meat
  2. No dairy or other animal products
  3. No television
  4. No movies
  5. No comics
  6. No video games
  7. No restaurants
  8. No writing off friends
  9. No indulging martyrdom
  10. No charity
  11. No picking up tabs (split tabs only)
  12. No nonessential spending

Somar the Whore

I keep warning my friends.  If they keep invoking his name, he's going to be converted to 5th edition.

Though I know I should be wary
Still I summon something scary
Dashing demon, kingly whore
Somar!  Somar!  Somar!


Name: Somar the Whore 14 Class: Race6/Lust1/Sor2/Seducer5 Race: Incubus (Outsider (Lust))
Str 18 - 4 Initiative: _7_ = Dex _7_ + Other __
Dex 24 - 7 AC: _26_ = 10 + Dex _7_ + Nat _9_
Con 22 - 6 HP: 140
Int 24 - 7 Fortitude: _14_ = Class _6_ + Con _6_ + Other _2_ Gold: 0
Wis 16 - 3 Reflex: _15_ = Class _6_ + Dex _7_ + Other _2_
Cha 36 - 13 Will: _17_ = Class _12_ + Wis _3_ + Other _2_
Languages: Common, Draconic, Abyssal, Celestial BAB _9/4_
WEAPON: Claws +13/+8 / Dam 1d6+4
ABILITIES: Darkvision 60 feet, Flight 50 feet, damage reduction 10/cold iron or good, immunity to electricity and poison, resistance to acid 10, cold 10, and fire 10, spell resistance 18, telepathy 100 feet, tongues. Sexy, shocking, caution to the wind, All you can think about, Slave to the suave, Summon familiar (rat)
FEATS: Bedroom Proficiency (+2 to bluff, diplomacy, concentration, gather info and sense motive in bedroom), Endurance, Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes, Versatile Performer

SPELLS: Spell Lvl/Known/Per Day DC = 10 + Spell Lvl + Ability Mod
0/7/6 1/5/6 2/3/6 3/2/6
Ghost Sound Speedy Undress Web Clairvoyance
Message Animate Rope Movable Zone Hold Person
Ray of Frost Enlarge Person Pleasurable Vibration (Will save, then Ref DC 15 or drop object each round)
Fascinating C/P Vinegar Strokes
Arcane Mark Unseen Servant
Open/Close
Prestidigitation

Spell-Like Abilities: At will- charm monster (DC 27), detect good, detect thoughts (DC 25), etheral jaunt (self plus 50 pound of objects only), alter self (humanoid form only, no limit on duration), suggestion (DC 26), greater teleport (self plus 50 pounds of objects only). Caster level 12th. The save DCs are Charisma-based.

SKILL Total Rank Mod Other
Bluff 26 17 5 4
Concentration 23 17 6
Diplomacy 32 17 13 2
Disguise 42 17 13 12
Escape Artist 26 17 7 2
Gather Information 32 17 13 2
Knowledge (Nobility) 13 6 7
Listen 28 17 3 8
Perform (striptease) 36 17 13 6
Perform (lap dance) 20 1 13 6 (rolled at striptease level)
Perform (moaning) 20 1 13 6 (rolled at striptease level)
Search 26 17 7 2
Sense Motive 22 17 3 2
Spot 28 17 3 8
Use Rope 26 17 7 2

EQUIPMENT: Belt of Magnificence +6, masterwork stripper clothing
Shocking: 3/day Outburst of “I'm going to fuck your children and have their abortions.” All that hear (friend and foe) are stunned for one round. Fort DC 15+cha or faint, helpless until revived.
Caution to the wind: Able to seduce anyone eventually. Will DC 15+cha every hour. Every hour in contact with seducer adds temporary +1 to DC. Each day adds +1 to DC permanently. True love is preventative to this.
All You Can Think About: Quick glance Will save DC 15+cha or causes person to think of nothing but seducer, visiting their dreams every night for one week per points failed by. Subject gets -5 to Will save vs seducer's advances or magic during this period.
Slave to the Suave: Once you go red... xp 100 times hit dice to make permanent charm person.
Induce Lust: All creatures within 30 ft. must make a Will save (DC 10 + ½ creatures hit dice + Charisma modifier) or
immediately stop what they were doing and engaging in intimate and passionate relations with the nearest viable candidate.
Fascinating Cleavage/Package
Enchantment (Charm)
Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 1.
Components: V, S, M.
Casting Time: 1 minute.
Range: Touch.
Targets: Creatures viewing target.
Duration: 1 hour +15 minutes/level.
Saving Throw: Will negates.
Spell Resistance: Yes.
Cast upon a suitable décolletage or lunchbox, this
spell renders the area utterly fascinating to those
who would be normally attracted to such sights,
regardless of the actual state of the area in question.
Those who gaze upon the enchanted crotch or
breasts will find themselves oddly fascinated, and
vulnerable to buying drinks and doing other favours
for the subject of this spell.
The recipient receives a +2 bonus to all Bluff,
Diplomacy, Disguise, Gather information and
Perform checks provided they are directed at a
susceptible audience that has not resisted the spell.
As with many spells that appear to enhance the
‘characteristics’ of the subject, when the spell wears
off they can be subject to the disappointment and
anger of those who have been duped. This was well
demonstrated by the public lynching of ‘Long-
Dong’ McTavish (formerly ‘Pixie-Hung’ McTavish),
the noted bard whose spell suddenly collapsed
Hypnotic Rump
Enchantment (Charm)
Level: Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 1.
Components: S, M.
Casting Time: 1 action.
Range: Personal.
Effect: Creatures of correct orientation with line of
sight to buttocks.
Duration: 1 round/level plus the casters Charisma
score.
Saving Throw: Will negates.
Spell Resistance: Yes.
This powerful enchantment renders the casters
buttocks fascinating beyond belief to those of the
sexual orientation to appreciate such a sight that are
able to see.
Roll 2d4 +1/level to determine how many hit-dice of
creatures can be affected by a single casting of this
spell.
Those affected can do nothing but stare and make
lewd comments, and are completely distracted from
whatever they were doing be it guard duty, knitting
or preparing a spell.
Blue mages caught on the hop and attacked out of
the blue have been known to use this spell
defensively, friskily wiggling their buttocks at

attacking monsters and praying for the best. Others
use the spell to distract guards while their rogue
companion’s sneak past.
Arcane Material Component: A scrap of leather or
rubber placed next to the buttocks.

Moveable Pleasure Zone
Transmutation
Level: Sor/Wiz 2.
Components: V, S.
Casting Time: 1 action.
Range: Touch.
Targets: One living creature.
Duration: 30 minutes/level.
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates.
Spell Resistance: Yes.
This wondrous spell enables the caster to mess with
the pleasure zones of the targets. Those affected by
the spell can suddenly find that the mere act of
shaking hands gives them more pleasure than they
have ever known or that testing the bath water with
their elbow is like dipping their testicles into a
boiling kettle.
Whichever area is affected becomes the target’s
primary pleasure zone and as a consequence
extremely sensitive in terms of both tactile sensation
and pain
Vinegar Strokes
Enchantment (Compulsion)
Level: Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S, M.
Casting Time: 1 action.
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft/2 levels).
Target : One creature.
Duration: 1d4 rounds + 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Will negates.
Spell Resistance: Yes.
This simple yet effective spell causes the target not
to orgasm but rather to enter the tense and nerve
tingling set of sensations just before orgasm.
While affected the target is unable to do much
except make ‘Ooh! Aah!’ sounds hop from foot to
foot and produce a series of comedic and
embarrassing facial expressions. The target is
unable to move, cast spells or use mental abilities
but can defend themselves from attack and attackers
receive no bonuses to hit.













Random Bits


"The best is emptiness," said the Grand Master. "You must strive to be empty. Learn longevity, yes. But don't try to be immortal.  Even gods die.  Live long enough to fulfill your destiny."
"How does one do that?"
"By having a goal in live. Have a purpose and your life will be purposeful. Have a meaning, and your life will be meaningful. Make a decision and stick to it, not dogmatically or rigidly. Persevere and be flexible.  Once a goal has been selected, nothing else must interfere. Cut all that is ordinarily considered essential in order to find meaning. If one has a powerful motivation for living, then choices are clear-cut. With discipline, sacrifices are made for a higher goal, and one acts with confidence and directness..."
----
He vacillate on the cusp of this understanding. There was still a glimmer of mind, a faint breath of a human being left to contemplate its inherent nonreality. So many times his masters had told him, "The world is an illusion." Not wanting to unbalance him, they had waited this long to let him no realize, "I am an illusion."
I was made up.  I was a by-product of the binding together of consciousness and matter.  I was the microscopic fragment of some cosmic thought that itself was a fluke, a random occurrence, a mere ripple among an infinite number of never-conceivable universes.
----
"Why be complicated?" asked the Grand Master.  "Yin and yang and the ten thousand things mean separation.  Separation means discrimination.  Discrimination means discord.  You must not cling only to the positive.  In life you must also accept the negative.  Those who do not accept both sides are the ones who become angry.  Life is an oscillation between good and evil.  Let it oscillate.  There is creation and destruction, good and bad.  Life will proceed on its own.  Try to blend with it.  Remain simple."
----
Never in the ring, or in the gym, did he ever question this will.  But outside - away from the blood, and the sweat, the bitter cries with spit welling in the throat and hurt burning between the ribs - he sometimes questioned this powerful force that brought him through the rounds.  It was precisely this will that barred his way to spiritual fulfillment.  As long as he depended on this self, knew that emptiness could not be realized without totally plumbing the depths of a self that was a phantom in ordinary circumstances.  Fight on, he decided.  He would not be able to transcend anything until he reached his limits.  And boxing brought him brutally, harshly, and undeniably to his limits.
----
The first moment of the universe, when time and energy and matter were all set into motion, was believed to have been triggered by thought.

End of the year financial round up

So I made about 14,000.  Here's where it went.

8,000 Credit Cards:  This is paying off my new A/C unit, my internet bill ($48/month), my tolls ($40/month), and a few gifts and miscellaneous purchases.

2,700 Electric Bill:  Florida is hot.  This is actually half what it was before.

Food
500 Groceries
250 Restaurants
250 Alcohol
200 Fast Food

Car/Motorcycle
780 Gas
234 Insurance
10 Parts

Shopping
440 Amazon, Walmart, and Target
35 Ralph Lauren Polo
20 Physical Books
12 Electronic Parts

763 Other, Miscellaneous