Wasted Time


It was the beginning of the end and he was the one who first noticed it, the bright red dot on the green screen that went “BLIP” with a regular pace, slow and powerful, like a giant's heart, before it disappeared and the heart stopped beating.

He was a slight man, hunched and balding with a mustache that held dark brown hairs with gray strands running at crooked angles between the remaining youthful hairs. His teeth were crooked, but not so much that it became a character trait, just enough to not redeem the rest of his looks. He wore suspenders to work. It would have been unstylish at another job, but here no one cared. Other men wore them too. They all dressed the same despite there being little official dress code. It was just understood that dark trousers and dark shoes and dark socks would be topped with a light shirt and a dark tie and dark suspenders. Patterns were acceptable if they were inconspicuous. They would have been fine outfits to be buried in had anyone been left to bury the dead.

This man, this slight, hunched, balding, mustached, graying, poorly dressed, unstylish man, had a first name, but that wasn't used. He was just Michaels because that was his last name and there wasn't another man with the same last name in the office. If there was, there might have been some way to tell them apart or refer to one and not the other, but the sad truth is that it might have annoyed the commanders enough to simply have one of them transferred out of the department to avoid confusion. There was a legendary problem with men named Smith finding a department they could stay with.

Michaels played back the recording of the “BLIP” on his radar to confirm to himself that it actually happened. His job for three years had been to stare at this monitor that never registered a single bit of activity. Three years of questioning his career and wondering exactly what he was supposed to be looking for. There had never been anything, not even a malfunction with the machine, though he wondered if he would ever know if it was broken, given the absence of data to show it was working. He questioned it functionality at first, but was assured that when he went home, it was checked every night. What kind of machine is checked every night, he wondered.

After he confirmed that his eyes weren't playing tricks on him, he watched the screen for a few more minutes. He looked around to see if someone was watching him, waiting for his reaction. He looked down his line of monitors at the other men in the office, each scribbling down notes and registering data from their screens. Little lights on poles went up over their desks when they had something to turn in and a messenger would run down from the commander's office, snatch it up and run back up to his over-hanging office that watched over all of them. Rows and rows of computers, each manned and busy, except for his, until today.

He reached over for the switch to his light and hesitated. He had never had to turn on his light, but his official protocol was to notify the commander of any activity on his station. He flipped the switch and the light turned on. He sat and waited, holding the memory stick with the recording in his hands, twirling it and looking around. He looked back to his side and was surprised to find a messenger already at his desk with a stern look on his face and his hand extended.

Michaels gave him the memory stick and the messenger left. Michaels turned off his light and went back to watching his screen. A few minutes later, he heard murmuring and whispering behind and turned to look. The commander himself, with four aids and the messenger that had come to Micheals were walking down the aisle. The commander came up to Michaels and extended his hand.

“Commander Niles Davoy,” he said, shaking Michaels hand.

“Ensign Nathan Michaels,” Michaels said, then adding, “Sir.”

“I want to confirm that this memory stick came from you. That it came from this desk and this monitor and that you actually saw that “BLIP” with your own two eyes.”

“Yes, sir. That's what happened.”

“Thank you, Michaels. As you were,” the commander said. Then he turned on his heels and walked through his aids, who followed the commander back up to his loft, leaving the messenger and Michaels.

“What was that about?” asked the messenger.

“I have no idea,” said Michaels.

A few other government officials learned about the “BLIP” but that was as public as it was made. Michaels never knew what it was and sat at his desk, looking for another one until the world was destroyed a few minutes later.

Bucket List


x3.Publish a comic book
x4.Become a Jew
x5.High dive head first
8.Wear a superhero costume
9.Play tennis
10.Play golf
x11.Learn to change my own oil
13.Adopt a mutt
14.Throw a surprise party
15.Drive a Mini
x16.Have a child
x17.Deliver pizzas
x18.Create family history and traditions
21.Build a secret bookcase door
x22.Build a privacy sanctuary
23.Own a parrot
x25.Go bowling
26.Play strip poker
x27.Play mini-golf
x28.Hit a baseball pitch
29.See Sistene Chapel
x30.Roast a friend
31.Be roasted
x32.Invent a cocktail
33.Take a vow of silence
x34.Ride a bull
35.Own a tiny rowboat
x36.Explore Frankenstein Place
37.Get plastic surgery
40.Go to Cuba
x41.Read "Catcher in the Rye"
43.Solve a mystery
45.Visit Death Valley
46.Fight a criminal
47.Give a gallon of blood
48.Mop 'n' Glo my hair
50.Get thrown out of a buffet
51.Eat nutria
x52.Swim with sharks
x53.Support my family
55.Ride a horse
56.Live in a studio
57.Hang glide
58.Smoke out in Amsterdam
54.Like my body / 60.Proudly wear my spandex shirt
62.Fence
x63.Bribe a maitre'd
x65.Sky dive
x66.Play at high roller tables
x67.Get a passport
69.Walk on fire
x70.Try absinthe
x73.See hot strippers
79.Escape a straitjacket
x81.Own a motorcycle
82.Renew my vows
x84.Send Kiri flowers at work
x86.Pay off credit cards
x87.Buy a house
x88.Make a cool toy
89.Teach in Japan
x96.Recreate pirate costume
x100.Re-read "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"
x102.Eat at Le Coq Au Vin
106.Sleep upside down
x107.Go under a false name on vacation
x109.Compete in an eating competition
x110.Risk my life
111.Fight
116.Learn to play an instrument
x118.Visit the Coke Museum
119. Have a threesome
x122.Teach someone the value of "excitement and adventure"
x123.Join Mensa
124.Join the Masons
24.Re-film a Three Stooges short / 125.Direct a movie
126.Own a print of "Son of Man"
x129.Have great sex
x130.Fulfill someone's sexual fantasy
x132.Make sure Danielle is doing well
134. Go to Burning Man
x135. Hang out of the Sears Tower
x136. Eat the original Pizzeria Uno
137. Feed someone else Scrapple.
138. Go to Fantasy Fest
139. Swim in bioluminescent algae
x140. Write a novel